


See Saw

by sketchypotato



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, and this time im not sorry, this does NOT have a happy ending folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 19:12:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17566328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketchypotato/pseuds/sketchypotato
Summary: The first petal falls from his lips, red, red likehiseyes, and Shu already knows who the flowers are for.





	See Saw

**Author's Note:**

> Do you ever see an event announcement and think, Itsuki Shu Has To Suffer.
> 
> Some versions of hanahaki have the flowers in the same colour as the eyes of the person they're in love with, so I'm going with that.

Kagehira is there when it happens, right in the middle of Valkyrie’s dance practice. His shock quickly turns to panic as he sees Shu double over and hack out a lung, red rose petals scattering all over the floor.

He knows what the flowers mean. They both do.

“Oshi-san!”

“Stay back, Kagehira! Do NOT touch any of the petals.”

Or maybe Kagehira would be spared either way. Shu isn’t privy to his love life and whether or not he has an unrequited love of his own, but it’s good to be safe. Kagehira comes over anyway (the fool), sidestepping the petals to come behind Shu and rub his back, soothing him as he coughs out the last few petals. He notes the colour of the petals, and thinks of the only person with red eyes who could make Shu feel like this.

“It’s Nazuna-nii, isn’t it.”

Shu doesn’t reply, which is all the confirmation he needs.

They stay silent after that, the atmosphere getting heavier as neither know what to say. Having Nito to love Shu back is out of the question; its certainly a lost cause, when Nito barely to talks to either of them anymore. And Shu has already done his fair share of burdening Nito with his love, a mistake he won’t let himself make again.

Kagehira breaks the silence, and mumbles, “Are ya going t’get it removed?”

Shu wants to say yes, of course, what kind of lovesick fool do you take me to be. It’s the most logical choice after all, much better than clinging onto a hopeless love that he has no intention of pursuing that would eventually lead to his death. But…

He can’t. It’s foolish, he knows it is, but to give up his love for Nito, the burning love, the love that inspired him to create multiple works of art, he can’t do that. Not yet.

So instead he tells Kagehira that practice is over for the day, and that it is time to go home. Kagehira follows along without protest, despite the clear worry on his face, and neither of them address the issue for the rest of the day.

 

 

“Itsuki.”

“What are you doing here, Kiryuu.”

Shu looks up from his sewing to the uninvited guest in the Handicraft’s Club Room. Kuro strides up to his desk and crosses his arms, while Kagehira watches on nervously.

“I know you have the hanahaki disease. Stop being stubborn and get it removed.”

The room is clear of flowers and Shu has been able to repress any coughing today, so Shu’s eyes flit over to Kagehira. Kagehira shrinks under his gaze, his voice stuttering as he explains himself, “I’m sorry Oshi-san, I didn’t know what to do, I know that y’know Ryuu-kun senpai so I thought I shld ask, I-“

“Silence, Kagehira.” And Mika shrinks even further, looking down as if to focus on his own sewing. Shu would rather _no one_ know about his condition, but he supposed it can’t be helped. Kagehira was only concerned for his well-being after all.

“Oi, be nicer to the kid, he’s just trying to help.” Kiryuu ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t fully understand the hangup between you and Nito, but if you’re not gonna do anything about it just get it removed. We don’t know how long you have left before the disease takes you.”

“You don’t have any right to tell me what to do,” Shu says a bit more bitterly than intended.

“Do you want to die?”

“I won’t die,” scoffs Shu, but he doesn’t quite believe it himself.

“Fine.” Kiryuu slams his hands down hard on the table, startling Kagehira, and turns to leave. “I’m telling Nito.”

“No!”

His sewing dropped to the floor, Shu had stood up to grab Kiryuu by the arm, his earlier coolness completely replaced by utter desperation.

“Don’t tell him…. Please.” Shu swallows and looks down. “Anything but that. I have burdened him enough as it is.”

Kiryuu sighs, his expression softening. Slowly, he turns round to face Shu, whose grip is still tight on his arm. “No one wants you to die, Icchan. You have friends that will miss you, and you still have to take care of Kagehira don’t ya. Think about that.” And then unsurely, because he’s not sure if its too sensitive, he adds, “Nito wouldn’t want you to die either.”

Shu thinks the words through, thinks about the people he might leave behind, the works he has yet to accomplish, thinks about how foolish it is to hold onto a feeling as petals start to tickle his throat and threaten to come out again. And slowly, without letting go of Kiryuu, he nods.

“Fine,” he says, looking up at both Kiryuu and Kagehira. “I will do as you suggest.”

 

 

Nazuna waits until all the other visitors have left before he goes to the hospital ward. He doesn’t think he would be able to face Itsuki if Mika-chin was there, because while he had heard what the surgery was for he doesn’t know _who_ the condition was for. Perhaps he doesn't deserve to know the details, to dig into Itsuki's love life simply to satisfy his own, twisted curiosity, but it is a thought that makes his insides churn for reasons he can’t understand.

He enters the hospital room and sees Itsuki, sees how Itsuki looks back at him with neither the fondness of their first two years together or the melancholy of the third, and Nazuna realises.

Nazuna _knows_.

Itsuki’s face is scarily neutral as he greets him, and as Nazuna approaches it turns into a casual smile that Nazuna has never seen before. There’s not much to say, besides “I hope you’re resting well” and “Get well soon,” and it feels so much more uncomfortable than usual talking to this neutral Shu, somehow even more so than their strained interactions right after Nazuna had left Valkyrie.

He leaves sooner than expected, gifting a small fruits basket as a simple peace offering. He should be happy that his… acquaintance is well now, well by removing an unwanted, dangerous ailment. And yet he feels like he has to get away, to get away from this reality, from a realisation that he doesn’t want to process.

Nazuna leaves the hospital, saddled with an unexplained feeling of loss, and the sensation of lilacs scratching at the back of his throat.

**Author's Note:**

> me: i love shunazu  
> also me: wont stop writing sad shit for them
> 
> I really wanted to add something happy to the shnz tag before I published this one but alas, I'm impatient. Hey just because the feelings are removed doesn't mean that they can't develop them again right? right ? ?
> 
> stream See Saw by Chuu and Go Won (Feat. Kim Lip) twitter @spacetier


End file.
